My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize