wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
