Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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