who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
