I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
