I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
