so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
