So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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