The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
