you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
