One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
