We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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