Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
