I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
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