Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
