Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
