Its about making memories worth repressing
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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