Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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