Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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