I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize