Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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