I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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