You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
