CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
