We won't sleep together?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
