that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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