lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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