this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
