That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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