oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
