I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
