I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Pants are for mortals
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
