Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
