God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize