69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
