The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
