I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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