We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
