Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
