last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
