I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
