we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
