i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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