Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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