what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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