I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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