Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
