It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
