so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
