lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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