just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
