you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
