69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
