Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ElBang0 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

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(801): View more from Utah

I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...

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(509): View more from Washington

You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.

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(323): View more from California

I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw

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(434): View more from Virginia

I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.

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(217): View more from Illinois

totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change

(1-217): View more from Illinois

don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class

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