we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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