We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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