her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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