Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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