So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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