Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize