I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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