proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
