Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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