So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
