You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
