i think my mom watched the whole time
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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